Tonight: Like CMA, baby...

Tonight..

So.. those of you that know me, or know us.. (cause there really is no me anymore) will totally get this conversation/scenario.. It went something like this:

E: i think I'm gonna cut my hair before you leave.

me: Uhhh.. turns out we're leaving earlier than I thought.. Like, 8:30.

E: (disgusted look, like, wtf??) then, "You don't even make enough to pay for your outings.."

me: BIG CHEESE SMILE!

E: "you party more hours than you work.."

me: (with continued smile and a HAHAHA!) But we get free drinks!!!!

E: Evil eye.

me: "but here's the problem, I don't know what to wear.."

E: "F you!"- spelled Pho(k) you!

me & E: hahahahahha!

OK.. I get it.. I really do wish I worked more. This isn't my fault..

BUT! Like CMA baby, I am Grouchy and Lucky!!! I need not explain the Grouchy part, but I AM Lucky cause if you remember, a while back I asked for a friend. And guess what!?!? Ask and you shall receive! I have a new friend. She's hot and without penis! (but taken.. sorry, boys!).

We went out tonight and had a fantastic time.

But mostly I am Lucky cause I have E. So, thank you E. YOU are FANTASTIC!

Mama treats.

One of the funnest things about being Mama is making treats.

Half of this is filled with lemonade. Those are for e. The other two are filled with cafe! Those are for MAMA!!!

YAY!

My faves.

Water, Peanut M&M's and SFRB.. yummy mfs!

DAMN!... (+relationships).

Ok... so maybe i went out tonight for a little bit. MAYBE, even though it's none of your business, I had a few drinks. Perhaps I started with vodka and cranberry juice. Just like that. And perhaps one person there mentioned he was having Stoli. Then someone else said something about Patron and Sprite. WHAT?!?!?!

I'd never heard of such a thing (mixing Patron)... BUT DAMN!! YES, Please! And so maybe I had a couple, or a few. Whatever (as was the title of the picture book I read for story time today). It was FANTASTIC (my new favorite word)!

There are so many things I want to share..

But I shall begin with relationships.

As of late I have been thinking a great deal about relationships. I happened to (this morning) read but the shortest portion of Neald Donald Walsch's Conversations with God. I started this book many moons ago, and resonate with its word pretty much wholeheartedly (but have yet to finish the piece). Anyway, a passage I happened to open the book to read:

Most people enter relationships with an eye toward what they can get
out of them, rather than what they can put into them. The purpose of a
relationship is to see what part of yourself you'd like to see "show up"...

DAMN.. This really gets me. The whole "see what part of yourself you'd like to see show up" jargon.. I believe. So I have decided to put this idea into practice. As of today..

Ass Attack!

I spent my formative teenage years dancing and drinking in Juarez, Mexico. J-Town mfs. If you really know me, you already knew this. And if you didn't already know this, now you do! Anyway, I like to think that everything happens for a reason - like Master Oogway says on Kung Fu Panda, "there are no accidents." So I've always wondered what the purpose was of me spending so many nights totally obliterated, freakishly dancing with (for the most part) total strangers. Well, the other night I was enlightened. It's so that I could not only participate in, but actually compete in the Ass Attack! The Ass Attack is when you're dancing somewhere - preferably a place where the dance floor doesn't really exist, but is created when people simply can't stand just sitting around any longer - and you feel a booty grinding up on yours. Yep... that's the Ass Attack. You turn around and can't really figure out whodunnit and if you can, you're not sure if it was accidental or not, so you just keep on. But I'm here to tell you it definitely was not accidental. It's a new way to enjoy dancing. It gives a person purpose.

So next time you're dancing somewhere and you feel an ass rubbing up on yours, it's probably mine.. or my friend N's. And, just so you know, when you turn back around, we're probably gonna hump you from behind.

Wanted..

WANTED:

A best friend. To hang out with.
To drink tea and sunbathe together.
Must like dope beats and live in close proximity.

**The ideal candidate will not have a penis.

Resolution MFs!!!

so i've had my gym membership for about a year and a half. and in this time i've NEVER had trouble finding an open treadmill or anything else. there has always been ample room. so much room, in fact, that i've always had a choice as to which treadmill to use. because i'm the type of person that likes the furthest one from where most of the traffic is. but come this january the place is ALWAYS F'ING FULL! and i know it's because of all the resolution mofos. it gets on my freaking nerves.

but i guess it's also a blessing in disguise. because today i climbed stairs for half an hour instead of jogging. which is good, since you're supposed to switch it up, right? it also forces me to practice being mindful and cultivating peace in my heart. cause i have to literally stop myself from thinking such atrocious thoughts as, "you're fat and you'll always be fat. get the f'k off my treadmill, bitch..."

so, thank you resolution mfs! i sincerely hope you reach your goals.